When the Screams Come

Part I/I

Black eyelashes covering large seeking eyes. A heavy and musky sweat is building up beneath the full breath. Have to control my every move carefully, every step counts and the smallest of mistake will lead me closer to where no one lingers. I’ve been mad for years, I have always been mad. Without madness I would not have been able to remain alive. I have to get as far away from this evil place as possible, spawn of hate. I am in the wrong place…covered in troubles, demonic men chasing me. Trying to keep myself as small as possible and keep going, going away from here, far away. This place is the end. I’ll wait for darkness, then move fast. I have been avoiding man all my life. Since I can remember I was told over and over again to stay out of sight and never trust any of mankind.

‘The moment you feel like you have gained enough trust and think that you will be able to come some closer, maybe even being able to get some distant relation they will kill you…KILL you dead that is. Mankind is un kind!’ my old mother used to tell at night. She was alive and real one day and the next she just didn’t come back to us so I had to figure it all out alone. Always alone. Eating on the run always, never any peace and quiet where one can just lay down and rest, or sleep with demons constant present.

Quiet! …there is something in the trees that is calling out. Something isn’t right, the birds are warning for what is coming. Pay more and deeper attention. If you run down from this position you will end up in a trap sooner or later. If staying on the ridge you will end up with something that might be faster or with more advanced killing tools, a bad end. Using the rest of the light to traverse this ridge to a lower position, to get close to the bottom of the next valley and slowly, quietly up half way of the next to find a good lookout post and stay hidden as long as it takes, see what is moving around these parts of the forest. Wish to get a couple of hours rest when dark arrives, find out if he decides to break off the chase and move on tomorrow instead. You will be able to run deep into the darker deeper woods and find a location where to figure out where to disappear. Always become the unknown.  Hunger. Haven’t eaten for days now, starts to slow me down. Need to find something, if just a little. Life seeps out if not maintained.

Part II/I

‘Well well well….I’ll get going again on this tomorrow. No rush, no panic. Slow is the ticket and not the end of the world if I don’t get him here and now. But I will get him. Was a good day out in the woods, beats any of the bullshit the people back home would give me if I stayed around. Tired of always having to find excuses to step out in the wild and be in the environment. If it weren’t for society and what it wants from me I would settle out here, be the hermit I was born to be, that I already am.

As the sun is crawling closer to the edge, shy of deserting the green planet for yet another time. Another cycle come to an end. The dark comes up and around, covering every nook and cranny, letting few shadows have their rightful place by themselves. Darkness is one heavy mother and mood swings from medium dull till mediocre and reserved as the black night settles in and lays a heavy cape over the surroundings. Nothing stirs, not a sound even if the wind that was absent during the light hours are starting to move in, the night is still and dense, heavy and doomed. This will change as the moon settles higher and the forest floor becomes colder. Night has gripped the land completely now and as the frost filled mist of condensed moist air is making the blackness a grade less majestic the night is in for a session of timeless consideration.

Aged and without judgment. All will obey to the law of nature, the unwritten.

Hunter is once again safe in his covered shelter, a warm fire gives him hope of a time in a distant future, a time where worries are few and the sun shines at high noon for days on end. With a full bowl of heat in his belly and the knowledge that as long as he keep his wits about him he will be able to sleep yet another night in primitive but covered safety. Nights like these tend to be long and filled with an demonic charge, there is nothing that can harm a man of his time but it will and can play powerful tricks and cause harm other ways. Hunter knows this and even with tired muscles he is tense and on alert. The earth is moving, gravity pulls and stretches, rivers flow and mountains slowly giving chase, always weary and on edge.

Part I/II

Cold moss and stone underneath. The pull of the planet feels exhausting and pressing down on every inch of life. Finding life and nurture is and always will be the main goal for any living creature out here tonight, that and not to be killed, and eaten. The air cold and crisp fills ones lungs and leaves the body as a new life form. Nothing can be announced that you are here now. Low profile, still and breathing slow with composed intervals. Eyes wide open but mind and body deep in trance, a trance that fills up any vacuum and enables the inner most senses to be part of the universe. Cold is not an issue, the black night not an enemy. In fear of what will come the night is a savior and a chance to reflect back on what one could and have done with the few moments of importance that was given. Enemies and peers become one, gray lingers with white as well as black and the distinction makes no different as long as ones heart is pumping and lungs gets a filling of the night. So, here we are. Alive and covered. When the first rays peek over the hills this will all change. The hunted will become once again, the hunter set his sights and focus on his one and only task. The questions of reason remains unanswered as we run wild into the unknown. This duo of life and death fill the gap that has been on display since the beginning of time. Many fathoms of deceiving depths have yet to be explored. Blood remains blood, bone remains bone and who ever take the control will find that to live, life has to give but more often it take. The night is still keeping its promises, lungs still filling and deposit. Cold and wet earth still pressing on tense muscle. Tomorrow is a mere idea, growing bigger and more muscular as the hours pass on.

Stand up, soon the dark is in it’s passing. Time to give it all or be in the middle of something that can not be undone. Run up the hills and stop. Look, seek, search…all sense in use and on full alert. Has the time come? Is the moment frozen and nature once again a home, the abode of ones will and needs? Stiff tendons soon become agile, up and forward as the sun gives an indication that all is not lost and after dark comes light. Hunted again.

Part II/II

Aching body, swelling of the mind. Stiff and useless. Fire gone cold, once again there is no option but to kick out the warmth of the sack and replace it with iced covers on dry pale skin ‘This has to stop, the liquid that is supposed to help you through these nights with ease gives nothing but a quick knock on the makers door post. In the name of peace and prosperity this can not go on, take your mother of the forest by the hand and let her lead you away into the unknown. Let her guide you to a well lit cliff on a remote mountain where you can set up a final camp. Make this your priority and worth while as long as you have your mind intact. Learn the lesson from endless failures, let it teach you like no other teacher has. To end on top has never been a bad way to go. Why is it so hard to let go? Who care about an old piece of broken meat like me anyways. No one really knows Im here, that I am a person with a given name, that I live. What is stopping you from walking out and giving it all on a desolate and beautiful post somewhere in the wild. Where you belong and where you have spent most of your life that is worth counting. Today is worse than the day before and only a fool would stay put and ask for more. Downhill is a matter of reality from birth, brakeless this journey will stop to be, better sooner then later. Does one unbuckle and let go of the steering wheel, to free ride all the way down with a clean and pure heart, embracing the reality and feel the true urge to continue. Or, pumping the malfunctioning breaks and bracing for the impact while screaming some half assed spell of forgiveness on the top of ones lungs? Not really an option if you want to live honest to the end. Let the flame burn out, not smolder on and fade till the last ember of heat is extinguished.

Kick the comfort of the heated cabin off like an unwanted child, open that door that lead you out of sight, deeper into the elements. Today is the day I start, the real beginning of the real end. Only the forest Gods will know how long it will take to get the kill I so desperate need. One week? One month? Having a strong sense where the beast is hiding, or where he will be going to hide. I will put in all effort to overtake him and put a bullet or a blade through him. The beast was seen once about a year ago by the son of the Professor. Having no means to hunt and slaughter he had just sat there in his hiding looking down to where the beats had thought it was safe. The magnificent beauty and pure power of the ancient teaching was clearly marked in a face of a free but hunted spirit. His whole existence was based on survival and keeping blending in, the ghost lord haunting these woods and mountains.  With muscles of steel and always ready to leap the beast had lingered long enough at the small stream to give the teachers son a shiver as iced spikes of penetrating needles, had him frozen of fear, fear that he would be uncovered and had to run for his fading life from a certain gory and painful death. He had made it back on weak legs and sat silence at the inn while men had gathered around him and patient had waited for the boy to come back from his haunted memory.

“He is not a mortal” had the boy started. “I saw the way he moved about and the death in his black eyes told of a creature that no man can or shall ever cross path with, yet alone even try to kill. I have never been so scared and at peace at the same time in my whole life. I never will go into the woods ever again”. He had raised his broken voice “Men, do not hunt this beast anymore, he is not of this world and nothing good will come out of having him dead back here in the village. We all will suffer from this!”. The boy had looked pale and tired and after he departed the men of the room had sat still and in silence for a long time. The decision was made, the boy a mere child with a lively and colorful imagination. His statement to be laughed at as nothing hunted from the woods had ever had a chance against any bullet or snare. The pride of the whole village was at stake and to prove to all and everyone believing in these fables that them, the men with knowledge of the forest and killing all within it, that they would be more than able to catch and bring the carcass of ‘a monster’ back to calm down everyone.

Weeks and month went by, no one had either the time or means to spend their valuable time to go off the trail and into the wild for a scared boys tale. Even if the Professor was a very respected man, his son had stirred up unwanted callings that no man was truly fit to grasp or take on as their own task. The boy was avoided at all cost. No able man wanting to be challenged to hunt a beast, a ghost in his own terrain.

Part I/III

In the old forest an air of captured tranquility lingered, no lone man had ever been seen this deep into it. Trunks of the old kings still stood strong, stone covered in dark moss giving off a smell of clean growth. Rays of the sun barely touching the dead vegetation of the forest floor. All is still yet alive, all is old, with an urge to become the taker of light. Deadly and hostile with a perverted want for all that the forest provides.

Have to step lightly to not stir up a notion of ones appearance. Direction being hard to maintain but with the help of the suns rays and the wind and what ever smell she brings the obvious wrong direction became clearer. Taller mountain peaks can be seen in the distance, free of trees and glistering with light grey granite and patches of brilliant white snow. This is to where the path leads. Away and up, away from men and their greed and endless need for more. He had been close once. Close to where men lingered. All senses tense and the sweet rotting stench was heavier down in these parts than of any other he had ever sat a foot. Even if the hunger he had to conquer at all times was unbearable then had he moved on, through the surrounding woods and hills without being more than a shadow ghost. The cluster of houses and barns he couldn’t see but knew held life. Even if covered by the cloak of dark night his inner senses told him to stay away and not to lingering to close. Men were weak and easily tricked and killed. But rumors of their unstoppable hunger for vengeance and retribution was legendary. Man did not possess the ability to reason and see nature in the eye and continue living after something that was his had been taken from him. His greed overcame his natural instinct to live, his urge to take unable him to use the senses he once possessed. When all was wild.

Can not stop, must move on. Days becomes shorter as winter is tightening it’s grip. Days of movements through dens forest, hills with fallen tress, down deep valleys where the shadows are forever present, where the clear cold streams of the mountains gather and flow with greater force as united spirits, seeking lower altitude with no mercy. Up through boulders older than the memory of life, up and over bare mountains where the Northern wind plays tricks and sings a song of the distant glory. Days become night, always long and filled with unbalanced fear and questions, as the new weak rays breaks through a misty horizon the cycle of the moon is delivering a concept of unmeasured space and time. Pressing on is all now and rests shall be few and far between.

Part II/III

So, you lead me deep up into the high mountains. You are cunning and I respect you, but you are a trophy that has been able to wander free for too long. You belong here, in the deep away from me, yet I will hunt you down with a more profound knowledge of your true nature. I will prosper and you will die, I will be the legend of my own destiny and you will be the reason for me to live a fuller life, for a little longer. Other men will respect me now. Steeper now, the forest still thick and dark. Trails long gone, the ground covered in dead matter returned to the forest floor as if nothing ever stirred it. I know how to read the signs without following any path or trail, I know the signs and I can see in them that you are feeling hunted as your phase has quickened lately. Im on your trail and ready to walk into any trap that you think I will not know of. I have been on your trail for over a moon cycle now and I can see a pattern in your misconceiving false logic, something that was taught to you in an early stage of you life by members of you closest clan. I was taught by no one yet have learn how to read all vital signs by spending my life out here beyond any borders known to man. I am in solitude independent of human needs and comforts. I know how to hunt down like the beast you are. I am your closest friend and it will be an honor to put a bullet into you or trap you alive and screaming and cut you down with my cold sharp steel. I honestly hope I can take you with my knife because she is hungry for your blood as well and deserves to feel your last heartbeats on her cold sharp edge.

Steeper and higher the land reaches over the drifting clouds, evening approaches fast in these altitudes. The hunted on the loose somewhere out there without reach, for now. Night approaches fast and as the last rays are fighting to break through the evening mist a chill is setting in to cover all and everything. Spreading its frozen cloak till the morning releases it from invisible demons. Trees standing as holding their breath, stones and boulders as in a frozen coma evokes no welcome for the lost or weary. Long and still is the night, shadows fleeing and a slow whisper goes through the tree tops, drifting with a set destination over the dark and unforgiving earth beneath.

Alone in the dark. Getting close, no fire from now on. Nothing can betray my presence from now on, smoke, light and human related scent is my enemy though it would bring me such comfort and joy to just be able to sit and stare into a campfire with a hot meal in my belly, just for a short while. Later, this is now and now is everything, the Beast doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t need any comforts or warm meals in his haunted body. He can withstand the elements and with a heart of steel he can fight his will to succumb to anything except survival and building his demonic self stronger.

Cold and wet ground reaching up and through my tired body, through my worn layers of cloth and hide. Life is brutal on an old and torn man in this deep wilderness. Tomorrow death. Tomorrow glory and respect regained. Eyes seeking in the dark.

Part I/IV

A strong haunting feeling of being seen is with me all the time now. I cannot stop until I am sure I am alone and will be alone forever. Fools gold, to linger so low and far away from the deep woods and high mountains. Tire and hungry but will carry on, the hunter carries supply that will keep him on his best legs for weeks, he knows how to gather and hunt his supper and has no regards for nothing but himself and his well being. Hate lingers always when man is on my mind.

The night is taking it’s heaviest and most deadly cold grip on all living here, old memories from countless situations like this, when no hope can be seen on the dirty grey horizon. Tomorrow I will kill, I will kill man fast and with ultimate force. The last of my explosive power will be set loose and unleashed on my hateful tormentor. Fast and with a furious vengeance I will strike hard and with my ancestors observing from all direction I will demonstrate once again how I am the true ruler of this land. Apex predator. His blood will pump hard out of his twitching body as I set my fangs into him and let the inner demons set to work with no mercy. I will consume his heart fast, giving me strength to finish him off, leaving bones and his filthy rags on the battleground. The cold ground beneath has no effect on me in this state before a kill, my hunger for the kill rises above my hunger for food. A kill of a man. A kill of a lesser hunter. A kill for all of my kind. A kill for life. Nemesis of mankind

The element is my savior and friend, the darkness my protector and brother. The chilled wind my loving sister. I am nothing yet I am all, without me these woods and the looming mountains looses their meaning and purpose. I am life.

Part II/IV

There! High above the tree line on a small outcrop of a shattered cliff I see a different shade, colors that fit and matches but a shade that belongs to the woods. It’s still as in a trance, blending in well with rock and ground but misplaced in some way that can’t be described I words. A feeling of something that should be somewhere else. I have to slow my breathing, sit steady for some time and just observe this tiny speck of misshaped rocklike mass. Am I being fooled, does my tired eyes play a trick? This could be what I have suffered for so long now, this could be the beast. Am I ready? Has he seen me? Can I reach him before the day is over? Is the demon moving? I believe not. Drained and almost out of power I can approach but only very slow, if he sees me there will be either an attack or he will flee deeper into the endless mountains. We will be trapped inside until summer releases it’s winters grip and by then I will surely be dead. A meaningless and useless death of a mad fool will help no one. But what a glorious death anyhow. I will walk in a sideways arch and surprise him by coming on him hard from above or around than rather up straight into his vision and into a violent trap. Knees hurting, feet numb from endless abuse. Pack and rifle heavy on my shoulders. What I would give for a soft bed and a hot stew in my chest now. Later, all in it’s set time and space. This deep into the wild one has to follow the rules of nature and time is but a bare contrast to the cycle of the wind and the tide of the light. I feel blood, furious thick red mass that seeps into the ground, coagulates fast. I need to slay, move now.

Part I/V

There! Far below just where the tree line meets the rocky slopes covered in lower vegetation and bushes, a movement that makes the surrounding unnatural. An unnatural movement. Colors blending in right but movement in a wrong direction and speed for this land. A small straight parallel line in this twisted and unruly environment is not of this nature, Unnatural. On edge and I will wait. I can wait longer than what anyone or anything can wait for me. Nature has taught me to be patient and become one with my surrounding. Has he seen me? Is he ready? I can take flight higher and deeper into these mountains and lose him for a very long time. But my tiredness overwhelms and my perverted lust for his pumping heart in my howling belly is too large and powerful to resist. Time is now, time to kill before the sun sets and another day comes to an end, a night without killing leaving me stranded with my thoughts. I will wait for him here, gather strength for the kill, slaughter. He thinks he is cunning and will not go straight up a mountainside, no focused hunter would. Too easy to be seen out here all by yourself, too risky if you want to reach your goal without suspicion. Going from one set point to another out here in the true wild means you have to reroute and choose wisely what path to take, never straight up. He will come from around the mountainside, maybe if he has strength and in no hurry he will come from above, aiming to be clever and strike from a higher vantage point. I will let him come to me, I will let him believe he can end me. Blood will flow, rest at last. Mankind on the side of blasphemy, flesh and grit in the blood soaked dirt.

Part II/V

Harder to breath, steep and unpredictable loose rocks under my weight. Must reach higher ground, must be invisible and on time for the right moment. Nothing will wait for me if I fail, I will be the hunted and I am too deep into the wild to have a chance to make it out alive if attacked and wounded. I will kill this beast, I need his death on my psyche like a heavy warm cover at night, like a campfire at night alone in the woods. No revenge in play, just pure killing instinct. Not for fun, not for sport. I kill for life. A couple of hours more and I will be in position to strike him down without mercy, without letting out a cry of victory. Another hour after that nightfall will cover the scene, must finished this hunt now and here. It’s you and me now, you demon that shy away at men. Me and you against the mountains, against the cold Northern wind and the endless sky above us. The fading stars and the rising moon the only witness. Only me and you now.

Part I/VI

Breathe. Slow and without effort the cold air is filling your lungs, feeding life into your living body. Clear your mind, let yourself become your surrounding. The stone beneath you, the wind between the trees and rocks, the peaks and deadly summits far above, the approaching night sky and the untamed river far below in the valley, keeping on shaping and crushing it’s way through. Be what you are, what you were born to be. A creature shaped by the hand of life, living his life with a constant push by the hand of death. Breathe like you didn’t need it. Muscle tense and cocked, ready for the leap of faith that will bring life back by killing. He is close now, I can sense his struggle against the mountain and his black will to hunt and end me here tonight. He is close. Come to me, I am here ready to make contact. My eyes will put fear into you, my demonic posture will make you realize you have come to meet the true unbeliever. It has taken me many lifetimes to become the observer I now am. I live and observe, you are my last ultimate treasure before I convert into the final stage of my journey. I am mad, I have always been mad. You are giving me life by offering your death at my feet. Breathe. Only you and me now.

Part II/VI

Now you are mine. The final solution has been reached. Having left my rifle behind I leap down hard on my prey. Been walking on steep cliffs and against battling Northern winds for hours when I saw you on a ledge of old granite just below me. There you lay, like a rock all covered up with the grit and dirt of the forest and mountain. You looker right into my eyes as I pushed on down toward you. I saw a demon in those eyes, an old being from a time long gone. There were no fear only raw hate in those black eyes. Eyes staring deep inside me as I fall down on you with a lightning speed. I left my rifle behind and will with my 6 inch blade claim my prize, as in the old days when food meant battle and he with the sharpest blade in the strongest fist would walk away victorious and with a belly soon to be filled with life again. A bullet from a long distance to risky and you are worthy to know he who has come to claim you. You are precious to me and I want to press my blade into you and feel life drifting as I slowly open you up. My life is pointless without you and to be with you close, to hear your last breath leaving your limp body as you die, my obsession. Now finally raw with uncontrollable demonic energy I fall onto you, as I meet you at last my steel penetrates a beast and the first heavy drops of black blood lands on the ancient grey rock under us.

Part I/VII

He came fast from above, I heard him running light then nothing but the wind between us. I was prepared and explosive with an ancient rage that pumped deep rooted new energy into my being as I prepared for the impact. Finally I can get my fangs and claws into you. My lust for your beating heart in my mouth is orgasmic and knows no limits. Come to me and let me rip you open. With a violent impact I got man and his throat opened up with my first furious bite. The sound of death echoing between the mountainsides out into the night like a low voice from beyond the void. Wild guttural screams and roaring throats in a battle for possession and power. In a close grip I can feel your hate and fear seeping through you, urine and excrement mixed with blood and anguish as you press your cold sharp steel into me. Stabbing and biting for an eternity, always the cold wind reminding of time and now. As one, panting we are laying in pools of our innards, the night take control and leaves no questions unanswered. Breath now a distant want, heart pumping the last remaining black hate entwined with deep love into the rotating solar system and beyond. Blood covering roots and rocks, gripping hands trying to get a hold, thick fur smeared with gore. Gaping wounds spilling life into the abyss, slowly drifting. Dying eyes looking up as time take control once again. The old mountain rests as our bodies become without life, feeding the elements with sorrow and a doomed silence.

Part III

Blackened night covering all and everything once again, stars filling deep space as the forest rests. Dark hours lingers. A Northern wind continues without rest to flow between darkened ravines and around unforgiving peaks, endless ocean steadily rolls on over deep black endless void, holding its breath. Grey clouds drifting, aimless vagabonds across open plains. Night is holding wake and the land is silent. Furious silence. Time claims and destroys, leaving no trace for the seeker. The hunt long forgotten. Two lost warriors remains on the lone cliff deep within the mountains, beyond dark forest. Two sole survivors of an ancient learnings lying dead and lifeless, joined paths binding a tie between eternal enemies stronger, no leeway. Left under the forgiving open sky, no grudges held of the known, no claimed ownership of the individual free spirit. Destined to roam. As one, remaining on a desolate cliff far from prying eyes and seeking wanderers. Free and loose, a last clash, a reminder that beast and man is one. The hunted becomes the hunter, the hunter become the hunted in an eternal whirlwind of need and want. Final last straw pulled, least likely breathe drawn. Water, wind, fire and earth, elements once again at peace. The night owl keeping guard over the last resting place. Time and distance space, nothing remains. Yet all that is known will linger, the few remaining facts still unanswered as we keep spinning and getting more distance to reality for each turn. Life is nothing, nothing is all.

Ω